Understanding in Our Incomplete Lives
This reflection begins with a simple truth: we are connected to one another, yet we rarely understand each other completely.
Through memories of family, inner struggles, and a film that mirrors life itself, it gently explores why misunderstanding is unavoidable—and why that may be enough.
Rather than seeking perfect answers, this piece embraces the idea that living together, imperfectly, is how a whole life is formed.
Why Understanding Each Other Is So Difficult
We do not fully understand each other. Even when we are undeniably connected, we often fail to grasp one another’s feelings.
When my mother argued with my father, she would often say, “Try to put yourself in his shoes.” At the time, I believed my mother was always right, yet that phrase felt impossible to practice.
If I do not even know myself completely, how could I imagine someone else’s heart or position?
What My Mother Was Really Asking For
It was only after growing older that I began to understand her words. She already knew that switching places would never lead to true understanding.
What she wanted was simpler and more human: “Please, just try to see how upset I am.” Those words carried her longing and frustration.
Looking Inward and Living With Heavy Thoughts
As I began to look inward, I practiced letting go of thoughts and worries. It was not easy. Each day felt like a quiet battle.
There were moments when life felt endlessly repulsive, heavy enough to tighten my chest. This might sound pessimistic, but in truth, I was often happier than that.
It was only in silence, or when encountering certain people and situations, that my thoughts grew deeper.
Questions That Never Stop Returning
Why do we seem so foolish? Why does kindness sometimes return as rudeness? Why do problems we thought were resolved come back in different forms?
Why did I fail to understand you, and why did that misunderstanding lead us apart?
At times, these emotions felt capable of turning me into either a saint or someone completely heartless.
A Film That Reflected Life As It Is
I watched Edward Yang’s film Yi Yi. It portrays the life of a family standing in the same place, yet each member reacts differently.
Some begin new love, some return to old relationships, and others struggle with doubt. A few stumble upon answers that no one else could find.
Still, they remain unaware of each other’s inner journeys. Even when they meet and speak, understanding does not necessarily follow.
The Parts of Ourselves We Cannot See
Just as we cannot see the back of our own heads, we often cannot see the deepest parts of our hearts.
Our unconscious selves, our lost halves, remain hidden—even from ourselves.
Why Life Continues Despite Incompleteness
The film does not end in despair. The reason we can live day by day is because we are not meant to be “one” alone.
When one meets another, they become two. When two halves meet, they form something whole—even if the fit is imperfect.
They can see each other’s hidden sides and empathize with the empty parts of life. This is how becoming one truly begins.
Accepting Life Without Perfect Answers
We may never fully understand each other in our lifetimes. And that is okay.
Just as I am slowly understanding my mother’s words, just as old regrets loosen their grip, and just as a long search ends in simple acceptance.
The answers we looked for were never grand. They were about accepting an uncertain future and continuing to live.
Sometimes a foolish mistake, sometimes a small act of kindness—that can be enough.
Living Forward, Half Yet Whole
The fact that we cannot reach these answers alone holds meaning in itself.
We are half-hearted humans, always facing forward. Yet even with this half-truth, we can create a whole life together.
我希望像他一样有一天可以说出来我也老了
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